My First Ride at Poco

Traboulay PoCo Trail passes right beside my home. I had always biked on different routes of it, but had never finished the whole loop. Before the challenge started, I thought of making this my first ride. It would be my first long sit in a familiar, safe area. I would see how well I would do and get an estimate to plan my future rides.

About two hours before leaving the house were the hardest moments of the ride for me. I felt anxious. I thought I could never finish it. I kept reminding myself that I did not have to do the entire loop at once. I didn’t even have to finish it. Still, even the thought of going for a long ride for the first time was too much for me to bear. I decided to take a nap—and yes, I slept!

I woke up with less anxiety but more frustration. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I think I was capable of biking 75 km? What would I say to all the people who had supported me financially? All these questions just reached one conclusion: “You are a fool.” I clearly did not understand what I was signing up for.

I was mad at myself and just pushed my body out on my bike. I remember the first few kilometres. I was worried about getting too far from my home, thinking I needed to have some energy to get back as well. I was defeated already, completely certain that I would not finish the entire trail.

I bet anyone reading this blog up to here thinks I am crazy. Maybe some are more polite and refer to it as absurd. In my response, these feelings and thoughts I wrote of will be different based on the context, but have been part of my adult life, especially when I seek change, something new, or a deeply invested goal.

So there I was, riding my bike miserably. :)

I wonder if anyone reading this blog thinks of how they are doing when a professional biker passes them? I swear one of those “pro bikers” was even wearing the jersey of having raised $500. Well, this was what I thought when he passed: "Yeah, you suck, kid". 😅

But after I rode one-third of the route, something happened. There was a shift in me. It wasn’t a conscious one. I just realized that I was in the moment: enjoying a bike ride, the changes of the scenery, and discovering routes. I was having fun!

The route was easy. In fact, I was fast. I finished it sooner than what was anticipated. I was not drastically tired. I could have easily continued for another 10 kilometres. I did well! Far better than I could have imagined.

At night, when I have a call with my mum, I tell her about it. She becomes more than happy. She feels so proud of me; she goes around telling everyone else about it. She even donates $50, which is a lot for her—a retired teacher living in the Middle East, in a country at war.